Destruction in the Church

This blog is devoted solely to the purpose of showing how destructive and hurtful religion is.

Several months ago I had mentioned to the leaders of the church we were attending and their wives that I was being led in my quiet time to let Holy Spirit be my only Teacher, but to remain in fellowship with them outside of Sunday morning service. After several attempts to schedule times of fellowship, this dialog occurred, seemingly due to my posting on FB of exciting new revelation I've received during my time of being alone with the Holy Spirit. It appears as though the church leadership, who has a big problem with my new found beliefs, had absolutely no intention of informing me of their stance until I reached out this final time for fellowship.
Please let this blog not be read with the thought that I am angry, vindictive, or hurt because I absolutely am not. The Comforter is quite good at Her job, and I still totally love these beautiful friends!

Nor did I ask my husband or best friend to stick up for me. I wasn't even aware that they had until afterwards. That's just what lovers of Christ and people do when they see an injustice.
This blog is me flipping tables in the temple courts to stop the destruction that religion causes. I, in no way whatsoever, hold these leaders solely accountable for their actions, but rather know that this is the direct result of the teaching that has been passed down to the masses since the Pharisees. These teachings are such... that our interpretations of the Bible supercede our ability to love others when they don't share in our exact beliefs, unless we can persuade them to our belief system.
This has caused wars, genocides​, riots, hate demonstrations, racism, bigotry, prejudice​, and everything else wrong with this world. They all are rooted in religion, judgement, and self-righteous pride.
Please read this dialog with compassion in your heart, and a desire to change the world through the unconditional love that our Father has for every single one of us!


I, Amber Siravo (congregant) text KH(associate pastor's wife) after a long span of time with no communication:

Hey lady, I couldn't remember if you said after Easter or after April but I figured I'd check again about a playdate.

KH (associate pastor's wife):

Hi Amber. You're sweet to have remembered and to reach out again. Unfortunately, because of the viewpoints you have been declaring on Facebook, I'm not going to be comfortable or able to make a play date happen. I love you and am praying for you, but that's as far as our relationship can go at this point in time.

Me(congregant):

Wow. Ok. I'm sorry you feel that way. That really surprises me coming from you.

I'm so confused. Are you not friends with other denominations? Atheists? Agnostics? Why should inclusion be any different when it comes to being a person of unconditional love? I'm so hurt by this religious separation from all my "friends".

KH(associate pastor's wife):

I'm sorry to hear that. This inclusion that you are talking about is always with the goal in mind to bring both parties to a deeper love and understanding of God. You seem to have your mind very much made up. I know that I am not going to influence you otherwise. So at this point, I will not be able to continue forward in our friendship.

Me(congregant):

Thank you so much for that response! I am completely at peace with this now.

KH(associate pastor's wife):

Ok hun.

Marvin Siravo(my husband /congregant) after hearing about this exchange then leaves a very loving and inquisitive voicemail message for AH(associate pastor) saying something to the extent of I'm hoping to find out what's going on because there was some messaging between our wives.

AH(associate pastor) text response:

Hey, just got your voicemail – as far as I know they already talked things through 👍🏻

But in short, the things Amber has been sharing about Hell being fictitious and everyone being saved (among other things) clearly requires one to basically throw out huge portions of the Bible. Plain and simple, her version of God's love and truth regarding those issues is not His and it has the potential to lead people away from His heart instead of towards it. Plenty of people have tried to shed light on the truth regarding some of the issues - and have pointed out many of the same things I would - but it's only fueled the fire so to speak. That's her prerogative to keep believing and posting about what she wants, as it is yours.

We love you guys, and our history together will prove that - which is why we are also willing to separate ourselves from you guys in order to protect what we believe to be the integrity of the Gospel in the people we have been given the responsibility to shepard as well as to hopefully help you guys realize the deception that has crept in. Hopefully you can see the error and begin to lead your family well-beginning spiritually by leading them in sound doctrine. Praying for you bro.

Marvin Siravo(my husband/congregant):

So my idea of what it means to love someone is regardless of what they believe it would seem instead of separation that one would pour in to them like a lost sheep..... Go after the one the rest are good for the moment...... And that's just an example considering your definition of lost..... It would seem that as a friend one would continue as a friend in person and not from a distance... We've never lead anyone astray nor intend to... But in fact point people to the gospel of Jesus through love by being love in all situations all seasons of life to all people. Living a life of love like Jesus means befriending those you might not agree with in all things to be thee example..... And especially too those you've had a relationship with but instead everyone sees it for to wash their hands and move on. Really Amber is the one hurting more then me because the friends she thought she had are gone.And then there is me I'm good either way but deep down I'm hurt that the people I held so high or looked up to would act in such a way. I thought for sure cornerstone church people were better then that. I thought about you guys as able to love anyone anytime no matter what and now we are being treated as lepers, cast out and pushed away.....I say I'm good because throughout my life that has been a recurring theme, so callused , and for a moment we thought we had a place of refuge in a way free from judgment and fakers, people capable of loving me for me. After everything it's come to this....... We love you and are praying for you..... But don't hang out with us anymore. 

Also I'm not mad or coming from anger I'm coming just as I would in any discussion humbly and seeking.

Caitlin Milbauer (my best friend/congregant), after hearing about the messages to me and my husband, then sends multiple text messages, over a span of days,  for AH asking to discuss what's happening to me.

AH(associate pastor) text response:

In order to alleviate anything that's been causing concern or confusion, I'll just quickly break down where I'm coming from. Basically it comes down to my responsibility as both a leader of my family as well as a pastor of our church to deal with what I consider to be false teaching - meaning something that undermines/contradicts fundamental truths that the Bible clearly teaches (ex. Hell doesn't exist, all people are saved, etc). It's not something that we take lightly - nor was it something that Jesus, Paul, John, etc took lightly. Because we love Amber and Marvin, and because we love you, on our end we are willing to separate ourselves from our relationships with you guys in the hope that you would see the deception that has crept in and the destruction that can and will result the further along that path you travel. If/when that deception is dealt with we would love to have fellowship restored.

We love you guys. I don't feel the need to defend that fact to anyone questioning it, as we've proven our love and genuine concern for all of your lives in lots of different ways over the last 4-5 years that we've known you. Our love for you all - and our love for the people in our church - continues to be at the core of why we've made the decision we have.

Caitlin Milbauer(my best friend/congregant):Me:
Can I just say how heart broken I am. Seriously. AH, what is going on? You haven't come to Amber, Marvin or me personally about any of this? No one from the church has. You end long time relationships over text messaging, like one would end a one night stand. How can you tell me that is love? I come to you asking to meet face to face and I am instead given this leprous shun. I never knew this to be Jesus. But I guess if it is your version of Jesus then I don't want him.... because what shame and isolation I feel.

This is so confusing because You and your wife are amazing. You both are filled with LOVE AND KINDNESS and MERCY. Where is that for those you judge as lost? What sin have we committed? How are we suppose to see "truth" when those who have 4 years of showing love won't even personally come and talk to us?

AH, please tell me. Please don't ignore this ONE question... is my family and Amber's family no longer allowed to fellowship with others at cornerstone if we continue to believe what we believe? I just need to know so I can tell my husband tomorrow.

AH (associate pastor):

Neither yourself nor Amber felt the need to come to us and let us know you had major disagreements with central doctrines before you began to post them on social media for everyone (including those in Cornerstone) to see either. Unfortunately, it's impossible for me to see love in the bold and blatant disregard of truth - especially when that same deception is then publicly portrayed as truth with the intent to have others see it as such.

With that being said, you can choose to think/believe what you want with regards to our love for each of you - as well as my chosen means to communicate. Fortunately, my concern isn't with what you guys think of me or my family or Cornerstone Church. With regards to this matter my concern lies solely in defending the integrity of the Gospel and protecting the flock I've been called to shepherd. 

Consider these texts a warning - you are headed down a dangerous road, one that demands that I take measures on my end to distance myself from you. Thankfully it's not too late to turn back and be restored. My prayer is that you and Amber and Marvin would do exactly that (I can't speak specifically to Bob because I honestly don't know where he stands on these issues one way or the other).

However, if you do choose to keep walking down that road, rest assured that neither my family nor the people of Cornerstone will be following you.

Love you guys. Praying for you.

Caitlin Milbauer (best friend/ congregant):

Thank you so much for your reply. I will let Bob know we are no longer welcome in your flock. 

I will not change what I believe because what Holy Spirit has been showing me is producing way to much amazing fruit of joy, peace, patience, kindness and above all LOVE. 

So thank you for the offer but I will continue to follow Jesus on this one! 

We love you and will continue to honor you even though you have made this decision!!! We are always open to hang out now and in the future as friends and family! Let us know when that can happen on your side! Bless you AH and KH!!!!

Caitlin Milbauer(best friend of Amber/congregant) then texts KH(associate pastor's wife) directly:

Hey KH,

AH told me that we can no longer be friends or fellowship with your flock because of what I believe. I am really sad that you don't want to talk about this face to face before pushing my family away. But none the less.... I want to let you know that I am so thankful for the friendship that we had. Thank you and your husband for being there for Bob and I as we went through rough times and good times! Thanks for accepting me openly when we first came to cornerstone. You are such a beautiful daughter of the King! He is so proud of you and so am I! You are an amazing wife, mother and friend to all who meet you! And you had been a huge inspiration to me as a woman who is in love with Jesus! 

If you guys ever want to be friends/ family again we would love to have you over for dinner or breakfast! 

KH (associate pastor's​ wife) response:

Hey Caitlin. You have always been one of the most encouraging women I know, and I so appreciate your tender words towards me. I have been sad that these relationships have gone downhill so abruptly, but since you and the Siravos have started openly sharing your viewpoints on a gospel that is contrary to the one we know from God's Word and hold dear, we have felt it necessary to not hang out for the time being. These things fundamentally undermine the Bible, and they are deal-breakers for fellowship. In fellowship, the goal in mind is to bring both parties to a deeper love and understanding of Jesus and His Word. You guys are obviously sold on what you believe, and I know that others have said all of the same things we would to dissuade you, and so there isn't much left we would have to add to it all. We love you and continue to pray for you, but we can't let friendship take precedence over the integrity of the gospel and our stewardship of it. 

Caitlin Milbauer (best friend/congregant):

Sigh. 

I just pray that you and your family never get treated this way by your friends that you have fellowshipped with. That you will never face the humiliation of coming to the abrupt realization that people have been talking behind your back and never cared enough about you to actually reach out. To feel the stress of not knowing if the person in leadership will continue to babysit your child because she was informed by that same leadership to "protect the flock". I pray that you will never have to tell your child that they cannot play with their friends because Mama and Papa are a danger to others because of the belief in Jesus' finished work. I pray that you never have to be faced with awkward situations when you see someone in the community as they look at you suspiciously because for leadership to push out a congregation attendee, one who they were suppose to encourage and support must be so horrible that they must be feared. I pray that you and your family will never go though this belittling ostracization by the very people they broken bread with. 

Could you please do me a favor? If I have any voice left in your life. Please for the sake of your growing church, please adhere to the biblical practice of disciplining someone you believe to be in sin. What the leadership has done to my family and Amber's is anything but. And that is the saddest thing about the actions of cornerstone as a whole. How the leadership continues to go about this does not show God's love but instead reflects the same attitude of the Pharisees. ☹️ 

We are real people that only want unity and peace between us and cornerstone church. Whenever you would like to talk face to face about this we would love to do so. 

AH (associate pastor) then responds to Caitlin(best friend/congregant):

Sorry for the delay - just to be clear I didn't say you weren't welcome back at cornerstone. I only said we are distancing ourselves from you as a family - and part of that is because of my role as a leader at cornerstone. I'm not willing to associate with what I believe to be people who are compromising the Gospel. 

We will talk through things as a staff and together make a decision on how to handle things moving forward as a church.

Caitlin Milbauer(best friend/congregant):

My heart is truly wretched right now as it seems that you do not seem to understand how hurtful your actions (or lack there of) and words have been to our families. You literally said to me that I am still welcomed to your church but you will continue to distance yourself from us, mainly because you are a leader? Why would I ever subject myself and my family to a church that is anti my well being and growth in Jesus? Why would I place myself under such a leadership that has no issue turning away from me and my husband when you yourself deem that I am so lost and hurting? How could I ever sit and listen to you teach on stage about how you have such a high integrity of the scriptures when I now know that when you are off the stage you have no issue with with going against scriptures by not holding to the biblical standard of correction. Let alone honor Jesus' commands for loving your neighbor as yourself.

You say I am still welcome to come? When you tell me blatantly that you personally will flee from me and my husband presence to uphold your standard and a position title? 

I am cut to the core over this idea you have currently.... your church  boasts in the catch phrase, "Welcome home."

I never want my children to have such a distorted and heartless view by your definition of how you treat a family in your church. 

AH. Your shunning of us is so hurtful. You say that Jesus takes the shame off us.... but through your actions of distancing without ever approaching us first,  that you yourself proudly say you will not back down from even though I plea for friendly dialog and unity it is actually putting shame on me and my husband. And you are now encouraging others in leadership to follow suit. 

Why would I ever want to put my husband and children through that shame and belittlement that you seem to be so keen on generously offering. 

No thank you. I will continue to follow and surround myself with Jesus who is loving, patient, kind, merciful, accepting, understanding, genuine, and above all will never ever leave me or forsake me. No matter what I believe.

End scene...

Please, for the love of Jesus and being His shining example to this world, let this hurt that I have experienced for the fourth time in my life be a light that casts out all the darkness that religion has caused.

Live loved!!!

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